


But the world turns so slow

by Theceilingfan213



Series: My Experiences [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Enbyinnit, Enbyinnit is my baby, Gender Dysphoria, Help, I also did not proof read this, I still have no clue how to tag, Nonbinary Character, Trans Character, Trans TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), nonbinary tommyinnit, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:07:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28278132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theceilingfan213/pseuds/Theceilingfan213
Summary: Basically, me projecting onto Tommy. For this to work as proper projection, just know that in this fic, Tommy used to be female but is now non-binary and uses They/Them pronouns.- My experiences with being non-binary*unrelated to other story in the series
Relationships: nope
Series: My Experiences [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2071530
Comments: 11
Kudos: 528





	But the world turns so slow

**Author's Note:**

> Another Enbyinnit fic from me cause I felt like it. Again, this is written from my own experiences and is basically just my ramblings trying to be filed into a coherent story so sorry if this doesn't make much sense. 
> 
> "talking"  
> 'thoughts'
> 
> I absolutely did not proof read this so I apologize for any mistakes 
> 
> Title from Letter to Mr. President by Kanya on youtube (I was just listening to this on loop while writing). Make sure you go check out the song cause it's amazing and also Precious Jewel Amor's song as well!

Tommy laid in bed, staring up. Today was a bad day. They had been trying to enjoy themselves by watching one of Wilburs old videos but found themselves unable to truly focus on the content. Frustration overtook them and suddenly a wave of wrongness overtook them. Tommy was wrong. They knew they were wrong. They didn’t look right. They resolved to stare at the ceiling, silent tears trailing down their face. They didn’t know what to do, all they felt was an excruciating feeling of wrongness and the tears continued to flow. Tommy resolved to sleeping in order to escape their feelings, praying to a God they didn’t believe in that tomorrow would be better, that tomorrow would be fine.

Except it wasn’t. It was worse. They woke up the next day, the feeling of intense wrongness still present. Tommy didn’t know what to do, they truly didn’t. Tommy decided to text the SBI chat about it.

Tommyinnit:  
You guys ever feel wrong?  
Cause I certainly do. 

Wilbur Soot:  
D: Whats wrong?

Philza:  
Whats up dude?

Tommyinnit:  
I don’t know I just feel wrong, not right. I don’t know how to explain it or what to do, I just want it to stop.

Wilbur Soot:  
I’m really sorry to hear that DD: I really hope the feeling goes away soon 

Philza:  
Same. Hopefully this will pass soon!

Tommy smiled at their phone, happy that their friends still support them. They made their way out of bed and to the bathroom, coming face to face with their reflection. Immediately, tears sprung to their face. Their chest, their chest wasn’t supposed to be there. It was like a sick, sick reminder that they will never truely be who they want to be, that they’re stuck constantly presenting female, no matter how much masculine clothes. Tears now rained freely down their face. They felt like throwing up. They weren’t right, they weren’t right, they weren’t right. In that moment, all Tommy wanted to do was curl up into their bed and spend the rest of their day there. They finally managed to tear their gaze away from their reflection, quickly snatching a towel and throwing it over the mirror and then rushing to their room. They immediately looked around their closet for the baggiest article of clothing they own. Finally, they came up with their Wilbur Soot sweatshirt that they had accidentally ordered in a size too big but never bothered to return. Tommy had never been so grateful for their laziness and quickly threw on the sweatshirt along with a pair of ripped jeans. They tucked in the top, puffing out the front so that their chest was less noticeable, and looked in the mirror. They looked at their reflection, still not completely satisfied but at least they got rid of the feeling of nausea. They sprawled out on their bed, exhausted despite basically just waking up. They closed their eye, just wishing to feel better, wishing that this feeling would go away. However, whatever god there was simply laughed in their face and nothing changed. 

An idea struck them. They shot up and grabbed their laptop to conduct a google search. “Chest Binders” was all that was typed in. They clicked on the first website, gc2b, and scrolled, their heart filling with joy at the thought of owning one. Their eye caught one in specific, a black tank top binder, and they instantly knew they wanted one. Tommy smiled intensely until the realization that to get one they would have to tell their parents. They didn’t want too. What if their parents judged them? What if they decided they didn’t want them? What if they ruin their relationship with their parents? Tommy ultimately decided that the risk wasn’t worth it for a binder and closed the tab with a sigh. 

The rest of the day dragged on slowly, Tommy spending most of it sulking in their room watching videos on other people trying on binders. With every video, they felt unbelievable happiness for the people in it. Even though they didn’t have the luxury of a binder doesn’t mean they had to be upset that other people had one. They smiled but the looming dread of possibly telling their parents remained. Tommy hadn’t told their friends yet either, also scared of what they would think despite having unconditional acceptance from them. ‘I’m such an idiot, why the fuck am I such a coward’ Tommy thought to themselves before picking up their phone and opening the SBI group chat yet again. They typed a long explanation, intending to send it but instead deleting it and typing a simple message. 

Tommyinnit:  
I want a binder.  
A chest binder specifically.

Tommy stared at their screen after sending that, still scared out of their mind. 

Wilbur Soot:  
Then you should get one.

Tommyinnit:  
I want too  
But I don’t want to tell my parents, I’m scared what they would think even though I know they probably wouldn’t care. 

Philza:  
You should do it if you really want one!  
Of course don’t do it if it really stressed you out though

Tommyinnit:  
Yeah… I probably won’t ask  
I just needed to get the thought out there  
Thanks for being supportive I guess

Wilbur Soot:  
Of course! We’ll have your back no matter what you decide to do.

Philza:  
^

Assuming that was the end of the conversation, Tommy set down their phone, intending to just go to sleep. However, they were bright back to the chat a couple of minutes later by a message. 

Technoblade:  
I know I’m bad at words but just know I’ll always support you. Don’t ever hesitate to message us, or even just one of us if you don’t feel comfortable, about anything you might need.

Tomminnity:  
Thanks guys <3

Tommy set down their phone again, a smile gracing their face. Maybe tomorrow everything will be fine.

It wasn’t but they knew one day it will be.

**Author's Note:**

> I never did get the binder
> 
> I'm not actually out to my parents yet but I know for a fact they will be supportive! I also do have the Wilbur soot sweatshirt thing that I ordered in a size too big and it's absolutely perfect for when I have days like this!
> 
> Comments are appreciated (I probably won't respond due to anxiety but just know I read all of them!)
> 
> Take care and stay hydrated <3


End file.
